Lately I have been wondering why, why is all of this here. Why does God want me to be hit with so many things. Time after time, just being weighed down in all of this, I just don't understand.... What do I do about it? Who do I talk to? I haven't been able to sleep soundly, I am so stressed. And everyone is praising me and telling me I am within the hands of God, and all I can feel myself screaming is WHAT IS THE POINT, if it always going to be this hard. I am furious with God, and I run away because I just don't understand. I don't want to be so entangled in this sin, I don't want to desire anything other than God. But here I am just as soon as I am out of a trial, I'm right back in the next one.
God is just reminding me that my life is going to be like this. If we are christians we will be like this. Our battle is against the principalities and rulers of the world. Satan will be trying to take us down until the day we die. And the more of a threat he finds you to be against the Kingdom of Darkness, the more he will work at dragging you down. So yes you may have a daily struggle. But the thing that God reminds me of is the fact that it will be worth it always, there will never be a time where it isn't worth it because you are fighting the right fight, you are running the right race. The only reason why it is a battle is because you are fighting against your flesh and blood, you are doing the right thing.
You are fighting for a righteous life, and you will be doing that your whole life. Don't expect it to get easier, but you can be sure you will live a blessed life, and having that knowledge at the end of the day is worth it.
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
- 1 Peter 4:12-13