Friday, 22 November 2013
Sometimes, I sit down feeling so crappy. I am like what the heck God? Am I not doing enough? Why am I still stuck on this one thing that tends to bring me down? I feel hopeless, why haven't you fixed it yet? And then I realized tonight that Jesus was discipling me, and he only disciplines those he loves. It was not Him that was not enough, he was healing my heart. I just lacked the faith and trust to feel/see that healing. Think about how much pain and doubt we would avoid if we just brought it to the Lord and truly decided to trust him! That has been such an amazing journey for me. The Lord is teaching me to just be consumed by his presence. Choosing to trust him, even when everything in me is telling me to doubt. When lies like "you will never find someone", "you aren't as pretty as her", "you aren't as confident, or godly, of course the guys like other girls", "he's only saying that to be nice", God is saying, Daughter, I have already given you the power to battle this. CHOOSE to be a slave to goodness, kindness, truth, and patience! Be lead by the Holy Spirit, not by your doubts (aka Satan). It is never the Lord that isn't doing something. It is either something I do not understand or I am neglecting to nourish.